Sophie and her grandad
David Robinson, from south Belfast, was more like a dad than a grandfather to Sophie and her sister Holly (13).
Sophie was so inconsolable when he died that her mum Andrea decided to take her to Cancer Focus Northern Ireland’s Family Support meetings.
The Family Support Service is just one of the services that Cancer Focus provides for cancer patients and their families across Northern Ireland. As the official charity of the Deep RiverRock Belfast City Marathon 2013, Cancer Focus is appealing to everyone to take part in the marathon, relay race or fun run and walk and help raise money for vital services like this one.
Andrea said: “The girls miss their grandad so much. Sophie especially just loved him. She was still distraught weeks after the funeral so I felt I had to do something more to help.
“It was only eight weeks from her grandad’s diagnosis to the funeral, which would be a shock for anyone. She tells me that her heart is broken and wishes she could hear his voice and give him a big hug. She feels she didn’t say goodbye properly to him,” Andrea explained.
A Family Support Worker from Cancer Focus came to see the family at home and the children started to attend family meetings where they met other bereaved children. Sophie and Holly also made memory boxes where they keep special mementoes to remind them of their grandad.
“I miss him so much,” said Sophie, who visits his grave, polishes the headstone and leaves posies there for him.
“In my memory box I have a collage of photos of all our holidays together and some of me in his wheelbarrow and helping him dig the garden. I have a hat that he used to wear all the time when we were gardening and I have a flower from his coffin.
“He was so much fun, always tickling me and carrying me on his shoulders. He called me his little monster,” she said.
Andrea added: “After my separation the girls and I moved in with my parents. Sophie was only two so she grew up with my dad around and they became really close. He was a huge part of her life and she called him ‘Daddy’.
“My father was very much a family man. He was so full of life and made everything as much fun as it could be. We spent all our holidays together and he and my mum always went on outings with us and to school activities or clubs the girls were involved with.
“He played with her and made up clues for treasure hunts around the garden. The girls have a tree house called Robin’s Nest and a play house in the garden. He was a big child himself,” she fondly recalled.
“Dad had been diagnosed with prostate cancer a few years earlier which was being managed and he was okay. Then, in March last year, he was diagnosed with lung cancer, though he wasn’t a smoker, and he had secondaries. At that stage there was a dramatic decline in his health, though we tried our best to keep it from the children.
“It was totally surreal at the time. Sophie knew he was very ill but I didn’t want to tell the children just how ill. I explained to them that the nurses and doctors were doing everything they could. We kept holding onto hope. But it was so hard.
“This was our second Christmas without him. The girls’ memory boxes are full of treasures that give them so much comfort. Even now Sophie will sit and look through it and shed her little tears. She also released a balloon at his graveside to show he lives on in her heart.
“The work the Family Support Service does with the children is lovely and so touching. It really makes a difference to the children to have someone to help them express their grief. At family nights the children are given all the support and understanding they could want among other people who feel that same loss,” Andrea said. “The staff there have been absolute towers of strength. My dad would be so pleased and happy to know that there is a charity like Cancer Focus who can help console his precious grand-daughters.”
Register for the marathon at www.belfastcitymarathon.com. For more information contact our marathon team on 028 9066 3281 or email belfastmarathon@cancerfocusni.org. For more about Cancer Focus Northern Ireland click on www.cancerfocusni.org.
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For further information please contact:
Pauline Wylie, PR & Events Manager, Cancer Focus, on
028 9066 3281 / 07810 371118
or Marie Foy, PR & Events Officer, Cancer Focus, on
028 9066 3281 / 07736 358692