Catherine’s Run - Cancer Focus

Stephen and Catherine, who have three children, Emily (10), James (8) and Matthew (3), got the unbelievable news that Catherine had renal cancer in August last year. Catherine, a GP, was just 38 when she sadly passed away three months later in November.

Stephen (40) and the family barely had time to grieve properly as by that time Stephen’s dad, Peter, was also seriously ill with lung cancer. He lost his struggle against the disease in January.

Stephen and 250 of his family, friends and well-wishers took part in the Bangor 10k run on September 28 in memory of Catherine. They aim to raise an amazing £20,000 for Cancer Focus Northern Ireland. After the run a function was held at Bangor Rugby Club that was attended by the runners and many more friends.

“We are touched and grateful that so many people have come together to make this a very special event in memory of someone who meant so much to us. It has been very humbling and I know that, like me, Catherine would have been overwhelmed.

“Catherine and our family have received huge support from Cancer Focus. I can’t think of a better way to remember her than to help fund a service that will support other families in the future,” said Stephen, who came through malignant melanoma himself eight years ago.

 “In July we had a lovely three week holiday in Spain and it was really when we came home that Catherine felt slightly ill. She started getting a few stomach pains, which within weeks became worse.  After attending her GP, she was sent to A and E and I got a call at work telling me to come home.

“At the very beginning we didn’t imagine things would turn out so badly. You always hope you’ve caught it early enough. When she had a scan we were told that it had spread. It was that quick. It was an unbelievable shock, too much to take in.

“With my father also having been diagnosed with lung cancer in June, it was a double blow. He was a fit, healthy man of 69, playing golf 2-3 times a week.  “Catherine and my dad were going through treatment at the same time in the Cancer Centre at Belfast City Hospital. It was a terrible, intense time for us all. I think I was on auto-pilot for a lot of it, just to get through,” he said.  “Dad was very fond of Catherine and he found it very frustrating that he couldn’t be there for us all when she became so ill.  He passed away just six weeks after her,” Stephen recalls.

“Telling the children that their mummy was going to die was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, without a doubt. We knew it was going to happen but we thought, we hoped, she’d get a few months more. I brought the kids to the hospital the day before Catherine passed away – we knew it was imminent – which was tremendously sad.

“But the children are amazingly resilient and have definitely helped me through this. They are doing really well considering they’ve had such a difficult year. Without them I wouldn’t have been able to cope,” he admitted.

It was while Catherine was undergoing treatment that the family began going to the Cancer Focus Family Support Service, which helps families when an adult in a family has cancer.

“Catherine was able to go to three family support group meetings before she became too ill and she really enjoyed them. We started to make memory books but we didn’t manage to get them finished. I am still gathering photographs and other bits and pieces for them. I think it is so important to have these things for the children, and me, to look back at.

“I also had some one-to-one sessions with a Cancer Focus counsellor and found it a great relief to be able to open up to someone with no one else around. She was a great listener.

“Rachel Smith, the Family Service Coordinator, came to our house and had one-to-one sessions with the children. I know Emily found that very good. It must be hard for them. They don’t want to upset everyone else and are bound to bottle up their feelings. With Rachel, Emily was able to let the tears flow and ask the questions she needed to ask. It was great for her to have someone outside the family to talk to.

“It was good for James, too, and although Matthew was very young, he remembers his mummy very fondly and often talks about her. Having the memory books will hopefully help the children to talk and be open about their feelings.”

Earlier this year Stephen was chatting to one of Catherine’s best friends and they decided to get some people together to enter the Bangor 10k in aid of Cancer Focus - and since then it has snowballed.

“I never expected so many people would get involved. Catherine would be very moved to think that her memory and story could evoke such a response. She’d be thrilled that we are helping other people who are going through a similar experience. Thank you to everyone for your support and friendship.”

If you would like to make a donation please go to www.justgiving/stephenmontgomery

For more information about Cancer Focus visit www.cancerfocusni.org, call 028 9066 3281 or email hello@cancerfocusni.org